


The Dead Don't Weep

by The_Singular_Peep



Category: Bad Girls Don't Die (Katie Alender)
Genre: Coming Out, Family Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, LGBT Character, PTSD RECOVERY, Sibling Bonding, alexis's POV, but its in honor of the author's style, first person POV even though it kills me to write like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24533311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Singular_Peep/pseuds/The_Singular_Peep
Summary: “But we’ll get through it. I promise.”And, just a little, I believed her. She felt warm, and safe – she was everything a family should be, and I let myself sink into the belief fully. Just for tonight. I would think rationally again tomorrow, but tonight… Tonight, I’m going to be naïve, and I’m going to believe that nothing could get me.(A collection of the one-shots I've written for the Bad Girl's Don't Die series by Katie Alender, mainly family fluff between Alexis and Kasey)
Relationships: Alexis Warren/Carter Blume, Kasey Warren/Unknown
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Still Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's late, and Alexis is thinking. A knock on the door should bring her out of her thoughts, but fear fills her instead. Kasey stands there, her hair wet and eyes distant. In the midst of everything, they need to talk. 
> 
> Or, after two and a half demonic encounters, coming out to your big sister should be easier. 
> 
> [SET MID-BOOK THREE, BEFORE LAINA. K FOR SWEARING. LGBT REP. ONESHOT. COMPLETE.]

_Still Stuck_

* * *

I don't like to admit that I'm wallowing in self-pity, but that night I kind of was.

It had been a few weeks since the meeting with Megan – a few weeks since I'd even _seen_ Lydia – and I was lying in my bed, lost in a spiral of thoughts about the past two years.

I wasn't a murderer – not technically. But for all anyone else cared, I was. I'd been there when Lydia had her "aneurysm." I'd been there when she'd died. And, even when they _didn't_ know that she herself blamed me for her demise, the kids at school all believed it.

I remember being in sophomore year and thinking I didn't fit in anywhere.

I was stupid to think that, because, really, it hadn't been all that bad then.

Now it was.

I didn't like where my brain was going, but it wasn't like I could stop it. I felt like a bystander, watching my thoughts as droplets from a quill, swirl and swooping on a piece of paper, spiraling into feathers and corkscrews, all the while getting tighter and heavier until my whole line of sight was black with ink. There was nothing I could do to clear the page. There was nothing I could do to even direct the currents. My thoughts went on without me, and they went right on to Kasey.

Kasey.

Hadn't she been caught up in this, too?

Not only that, but hadn't she been caught up in this _way_ before I was?

She was tempted into forming an allegiance with a vengeful spirit way before I ever got involved.

Don't get me wrong, I couldn't really blame her. She had no friends, she was an incredibly sensitive kid, and that bitch Sarah was _really_ convincing. To the point that I could have possibly killed my family for her, and that was after only two minutes under her spell – Kasey had been under it for who knows _how_ long, and she had only come close to murder. She never actually did it.

That being said, she was under Sarah's control for a very, very long time, and even after Harmony Valley she was wrapped up in the Sunshine Club before I was. She had even almost sacrificed herself for it.

And where was her trauma? Shouldn't she have, like, post-traumatic-stress or something? At least a little bit of anxiety?

But, no, it looks like I got all of that, and she got off scotch free – she was happy, she had friends – she was popular, even. She was pretty, and carefree. It's not like I wasn't happy for her, because I was. I was just…

Jealous.

The word was bitter and black on my tongue, reminiscent to Aralt's sludge that had forced its way through my teeth.

Jealous.

I didn't want to admit that I was, but….

If the shoe fit.

I was just settling into the idea, letting the ink swirl again, feeling my eye brows twitch as I watched it go, when I heard my door open. I shot up, out of breath and wide eyed as if someone was trying to kill me.

Given my history, that might actually be a possibility. I was tense, silent, ready for a fight, wishing more than anything that my heart would slow down a little.

"…Lexi?"

I nearly passed out from relief.

"Kasey. Gosh, you scared me." I leaned over and flipped my lamp on, illuminating my sister in warm yellow light.

Her hair was dripping from a shower, and she was dressed in a dainty pink nightgown, lacey around the sleeveless collar. No makeup, no hairdo, no fancy clothes. Just Kasey.

And she looked about six years old.

"I.. Can we talk?" She asked softly, and I noticed then that she was fidgeting with her hands, her eyes never really meeting mine.

Immediately, my guard went up.

Maybe I was too quick to judge – maybe, instead of being let off easy without any consequences, my little sister had just neglected to get off. The thoughts were racing through my mind, all of them settled on a single idea: Kasey was caught up in something worse than ever.

I sat up, tense and on edge, and patted my bed with a nod. She tentatively sat on the edge, glancing at me before pulling her legs up, too. She was quiet.

"So…." I said, hoping to speed up the process.

"So…" She parroted. She was playing with the hem of her gown. I drummed my fingers impatiently.

Silence.

"Kase, spit it out. What's going on?"

Kasey took a deep breath, and so did I, steeling myself for the worst.

"So you… you know how I only started my period, like, three months ago?"

I nodded, still suspicious. Was she gonna go all Carrie on us? Make a pact with some demon and start floating stuff with her brain? Blow up the school?

She went on.

"So that means… Like… I only started to have… _feelings_ for people a little while ago. "

Yes, yes, that is what that meant. I knew my sister had already had the sex talk, and even if she hadn't, I knew she wouldn't wake me up at midnight to ask about it. Had she fallen in love in the same way Lydia had?

"And you know that I'm dating Keaton."

Keaton. I recalled the name, and the face, and his constant presence at her side at school. Was he someone bad? Had he made her get back into the stuff from her past, the stuff we were all trying to move past?

"Well, uhm, we have… A… A _different_ situation. Not.. Not like you and Carter. Not like you and.. Jared."

Oh my gosh, she was pregnant.

My baby sister, my fourteen year old infant sister, who sleeps with stuffed animals and still keeps her baby blanket, dubbed Kiki by her one year old lips, under her pillow, who chews on her water bottle spouts like they're sippy cups, who dances in the kitchen to Frozen and is scared to get her learner's permit next year and told me two days ago that mint was too spicy for her was _pregnant._

I couldn't speak. I couldn't hear. I think she was still talking to me, but this was too much. She was still a baby, she couldn't _have_ one – how did she even know how sex worked? Like, yeah, she probably knew the basics, but she had actually _done_ it?! I looked her up and down, noticing for the first time she was clutching her ratty white lovey from under her pillow in her right hand.

Why else would she bring that in if she wasn't having a baby?!

Finally, my brain caught up with the situation. It wasn't the end of the world, right? Unless..

Kasey was so trusting – what if it was a Rosemary's Baby situation? What if she was pregnant with the spawn of Satan? The bringer of Armageddon himself?

I looked at her. She had stopped talking a minute ago and was just staring at me.

She looked like she was about to cry.

"Lexi, I'm –" She hiccupped a little, trying to hold her tears back. "I'm gay."

I blinked.

Wait.

_What?_

I didn't mean to. I really, really didn't. But all my nerves bundled themselves in my throat, and I couldn't help it. I laughed, a big, relieved laugh, and Kasey looked at me with a face of utter hurt and betrayal.

"Wait, Kase, No –" I breathed, pushing down the laughter.

"You think I'm confused, right?" Kasey spat tearfully. She was getting ready to do one of her full on sob-fests, the kind we hadn't seen since before she left for Harmony Valley last year. It wasn't for attention, she just had too much emotion in her little body. And I couldn't let that happen right now.

"What?" I asked, genuinely incredulous. "Kasey, I thought you were _pregnant!"_

It was her turn to blink.

"Lexi… What? No, ew, what?" Her lips wavered right into a tentative smile, and she even giggled a little. "No!"

"Not only that," I started, laughter bubbling up again. "Not only that, but I thought you were harboring, like, Lucifer's son in your _womb."_

Kasey guffawed. " _What?!"_

"I mean, it wouldn't be that crazy! Think of the past few years we've had!"

We hadn't talked about it, like, at all. Not since Lydia's death.

I guess that was my fault. I'd been shut off from everyone. Even my sister.

And yet, it was as easy as that – I'd mentioned it, and we hadn't even stopped laughing. It was acknowledged, not pushed into the corner. And it was okay.

Our laughter died down a little, and Kasey looked up at me. Even though she'd grown recently, she was still shorter than me, her icy blue eyes naturally falling at about my lips. Her eyes were wet, and a tear had slipped down the slope of her cheek.

"Yeah." She finally said, taking a deep breath. She broke eye contact and looked at her hands, which were fiddling with Kiki. "You're… You're not mad at me?"

"…Mad?" I reached a hand over and put it on her knee. She sniffled. "Kase, _no._ There's nothing wrong with this. Nothing I could be mad over. I'm glad you've found yourself, and I'm glad you trust me with it." I paused. "And I'm glad you're not letting Damian Thorn hang out around your ovaries."

She giggled tearfully, and then she scooted over to where she was seated parallel to me on my left. She pulled the covered up over her and leaned her head on my shoulder.

We were silent for a long time, long enough that I was beginning to doze, when her voice rose from beside me.

"I thought…I thought that's why you'd been so distant lately."

Her voice was clear as a bell, but painfully soft. She continued.

"I thought you'd figured it out, saw me blush when Veronica from home room hugged me at the New Years party." She paused, and I was quiet. "I thought… I thought that's why you left. Because you couldn't stand being associated with a baby lesbian."

"Kasey."

My voice was harsher than I meant it to be, but I kept with it. I put an arm around her, and when my hand landed on her shoulder I could tell she was shaking with sobs.

"Kasey, I love you. And I would say the old ' _oh, I love you even if you like girls,'_ shtick, but it's not even a factor. I don't love you _even if._ If it's part of who you are, then I love it. That's that."

A beat passed, and then her arms wormed their way around my waist, leaving her head leaning on my chest. She was crying in earnest now, big fat tears leaking down her face and soaking into my pajama shirt.

For a few minutes, I just held her and let her cry, thinking about how she had probably seen things lately.

She must have been _terrified._

"Lexi… You remember what I said? When… The night you saved everyone?"

I didn't say anything.

"I meant that. You really are the best big sister anyone could ask for."

I kissed her forehead, her hair still damp, but I didn't respond. How could I?

The best big sister anyone could ask for wouldn't keep hiding things like I was.

She wouldn't keep her sister in the dark while looking at her with envy.

She wouldn't keep the only person who might understand at arm's length.

She wouldn't let the only person who might understand think that _she_ was the problem.

"Kasey, I… I'm sorry I haven't talked to you."

Kasey shrugged.

"'S'okay," She mumbled, her flushed face starting to dry a little. I shook my head.

"No, it's not. I've been… I've lied to you, about being okay. I haven't told you the truth about what's been going on. I should have. It's just…"

I looked down at her to see her crystal blue eyes gazing up at me with the understanding trust only a baby sister could have.

"It's just you've been so happy, and haven't even _had_ to think back on this whole mess. I didn't want to bring you down. I didn't want to make you remember." I sucked in a breath. "I… I thought maybe if I ignored it, I could be like you. I could forget, and… be happy."

Kasey immediately sat up. No more warm face on my chest, no more Kiki tangling with the hem of my shirt in a hug. She was staring at me.

"You're wrong."

Well, yeah, I knew that."

"I know, I should have told you sooner, or—"

"No, Lex. You're wrong about _me._ I haven't forgotten. I haven't even gotten _distracted."_

I must have been staring at her like she had two heads, because she reached down and took my hand.

"Alexis, I haven't stopped thinking about it. Not only did I…" She swallowed, "Not only did I almost kill everyone who loved me, I also got you caught up in something even _worse._ I can't get it out of my head. I've been so selfish and naïve, and I almost…"

She stopped and shook her head.

"The point is, I haven't moved on. I've just… Taken it with me. Like a briefcase. I can't just leave it somewhere, but sometimes, when it's in my hand and I'm at, like, Wendy's or something, I can just barely feel it. And I can get myself a burger, because I'm not letting my briefcase weigh me down. I can think about it later, when I need to get into it. I don't have to have it open all the time."

I smiled. She wasn't ever good at analogies, but this one kind of made sense.

But I frowned again.

"Kasey… You almost what?"

It wasn't really a question. She swallowed and looked away.

"I got everyone into this whole thing, and I thought you hated me, and I had almost killed everyone, and I'm the reason we moved, and… When I wanted to sacrifice myself, it… It wasn't for Aralt. Not entirely."

"Kasey." My voice was stern. Fearful.

She looked at me, and I looked back into the face of a scared child. I didn't want to know, but I asked anyways. Because I needed to.

"Did you try again?"

Kasey shook her head.

"I- I thought about it, yeah, but I never… I'm not going to do anything. Promise."

And then she hugged me, and I hugged her back, and everything spilled out of me like a faucet.

Megan not talking to me, and the weird occult meeting, and Carter and Zoe, and Lydia… Everything.

She listened, nodding where she needed to.

At some point we had laid down in my bed, and she had Kiki held up to her nose like when we were little. With her other hand, she held mine, squeezing every once and a while at just the right moments.

"So… yeah." I whispered, my voice hoarse from rambling. It was nearing two AM now, and I was honestly surprised we were both still awake. Kasey let out a long breath.

"Well…" She said, "That sucks."

"Yeah, it sucks," I laughed. She laughed too, just for a minute, before squeezing my hand again.

"But we'll get through it. I promise."

And, just a little, I believed her. She felt warm, and safe – she was everything a family should be, and I let myself sink into the belief fully. Just for tonight. I would think rationally again tomorrow, but tonight… Tonight, I'm going to be naïve, and I'm going to believe that nothing could get me.

"Yeah." I whispered. "We will."

We both were quiet then, cuddled together like we were seven years old waiting for Santa on Christmas night, and everything was okay.

"Wait." I questioned, "What about Keaton?"

Kasey startled a little, then laughed.

"Lexi, he's like, the gayest guy I've ever met. He's my best friend. We have matching rainbow booty shorts."


	2. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was obvious that her younger sister had a lot on her mind, it was just a matter of getting her to open up. And, apparently, Alexis's accidental sleepover with her boyfriend was the perfect time. [SET POST-BOOK 3. K FOR SWEARING AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. LGBT REP. ONESHOT. COMPLETE.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This one involves a tiny tad bit of cussing, just as a forewarning! xoxo

_Talking_

* * *

It had been about a month since it ended.

A month since Laina's memory had finally been put to rest.

A month since I returned to school.

A month since I had my name cleared by the government.

A month since I had killed Jared.

Everything had _kind of_ gone back to normal – Megan and I were talking again, Carter and I were back together, and Kasey and I weren't keeping secrets anymore.

Of course, some things were weird – Mimi was not only Kasey's friend again but was mine too, and Megan was still at All Saints, and Lydia and I hung out pretty often (when she wasn't busy. Somehow, she has more stuff to do than I did). But things weren't all that bad – in fact, they weren't bad at all. Just weird.

Weird or not, they were _okay._ "The new normal," my mom had said when Mimi dropped by to hand off homework to a flu-ridden Kasey with a smile. And I think she was right. Not everything was resolved – I doubt it ever could be – but everything was a new kind of normal. And I liked it.

Mom and Dad had gone out for a "weekend getaway" to reconnect after everything, leaving me in charge and Kasey under my watchful eye.

Honesty, I was surprised when they had proposed it – surprised that they still trusted me after everything. But they apparently did, and Kasey and I were left alone at 3pm after school on a Friday.

Kasey had gone to her bedroom to work on an essay about an hour before, and I had begun going over some of my digital portfolio. I really needed to weed some stuff out – somehow, I had taken sixteen photos of the inside of my coat pocket.

"Sup." A voice chimed suddenly, startling me enough that I yelled.

Lydia was laughing.

"You scare easier than my mom!" She tittered. I turned towards her voice, heart beating fast and breathing hard as I glared at her. She shrugged and made a semi-apologetic face.

"Sorry," She started, "I just got back from Rugby. It is _so_ much more fun when they can't tell who's pushing them."

I looked at the clock.

"Rugby let out, like, an hour ago."

She looked visibly shy, which was kind of an odd look on her, and I almost regretted mentioning it. She waited a minute before responding.

"I went to see my parents, too. I left my mom a little note, nothing too conspicuous, and found some socks my dad was looking for." She smiled a little, "They're doing okay, but I'm not opposed to offering some encouragement every once and a while."

I nodded. Nothing wrong with that.

"However," She added, and I looked up. She didn't sound wistful anymore –she sounded like she was about to make a joke. "I do suggest that you go check on your baby sister."

My eyes shot up. I wasn't suspicious of Lydia – it had been a long time since we established that she was a _good_ ghost. I knew she wouldn't do anything dangerous, and her tone suggested that no one else had done it, either.

"Why?"

She smiled and shook her head a little.

"Just go check up on her. I'm gonna go stare at the cake in your fridge and pretend I can taste it."

And then she was gone, and I was alone again with my laptop (Kasey and I had been given ChromeBooks as gifts, but I kind of suspected they were really incentives to not get into more trouble). A tiny bit of worry nibbled at my stomach, but I pushed it back. Lydia wouldn't have joked if something was wrong, but I had no idea what else it could be.

I stood up and stretched, then headed towards my door.

Maybe she had spelled something so badly it was funny in her paper, or had fallen asleep with her head on her keyboard and now had a big section of ";iogvg;nvng;;ng;ngv;gv" in her word document.

Or maybe Lydia wanted to play a prank, and was just waiting for an audience.

Either way, I pulled my door open and walked the few feet to Kasey's, careful to knock first.

"Kase? You okay in there?" I called, trying not to startle her. I heard some shuffling.

"…Lexi?"

Her voice was… funny. Soft, and muffled, and distorted. It was a little concerning.

Huh.

"I'm gonna come in now, okay?" I asked, receiving only an "augh" in response.

I opened the door cautiously, honestly expecting the worst.

Kasey was on the floor, face down. Her left foot was tangled in her blanket and still on her bed while the rest of her was splayed out below – it was obvious she had tripped getting off of the bed.

"Everything okay?" I asked, fighting the paranoia telling me that she was paralyzed, or unconscious, or dead, even though she had just spoken moments before. And then she lifted her head to face me, and the plush carpet came with her. She gave me a small, grimace-y smile, partnered with a wobbly thumbs up.

Her braces had gotten caught on the rug, and I burst into laughter.

"Kasey, oh my _gosh!"_ I cackled, doubling over. I couldn't help it – it was _ridiculous._

"Laugh it up," She said from her position on the floor, and then she _pppbbthh_ her tongue out a little to get the carpet fuzzies out of her mouth.

"What on _earth_ did you _do?"_ I laughed, plopping down beside her head on the ground. She gave a big long sigh and looked up at me.

"I was doing my essay, and then I got stuck and couldn't think so I was going to get up and get my headphones so I could listen to music, but my foot got caught in my covers and so I fell, and then I tried to get up and my teeth are stuck." She made an angry face. "I _hate_ these things!"

I laughed and gave her a good-natured head pat.

"Ah, but it's the price you pay for not giving up your binky till you were six."

She turned red immediately and glowered at me. "Well, at least I learned how to ride a bike before the ninth grade."

"I _will_ leave you stuck here." I said, mocking seriousness. She made an "uh!" noise, and I stood up.

"Well, I guess if you don't need my help, I'll just be going…" I smiled, sing-song as I started too slowly towards the door. I heard her sigh, _big._

"Lexiiiii," She whined. "Please?"

I turned around, saw her blue eyes doing the puppy-dog beg, and went back over to her.

"You're lucky I'm the best big sister ever." I joked, reaching down to unhook her brackets from the carpet. She rolled her eyes.

"Wha-e-er," She mumbled, mouth open as I fiddled with the metal. I finally got her free, and we both sat up. Kasey started unravelling her foot from the sheets, and I looked around.

It had been a good while since I'd been in her room. It was messy, like it always used to be, but it looked a little more organized now – just enough so each category of things was designated to a certain pile. Papers were scattered on her desk, three empty and one half-full medicine bottle lay on her bedside table, her lamp cord was knotted before it plugged into the wall, and Tupperware boxes sat rifled-through all over the place. There was nothing out of the ordinary, really, and I almost didn't give her open closet a second glance.

But I did.

The clothes were half hung up and half falling out of the clean clothes basket in the floor, and shelves were covered in books that hadn't been touched since we moved here. What struck me, though, were the upper shelves. More specifically, the dolls on the upper shelves.

I gave Kasey a wary glance as she finally ended up yanking off her sock to get her foot out of its ensnarement.

"Kase…" I started, glancing back at the shelves. "I thought you stopped collecting dolls."

She didn't look up at me.

"I guess I didn't." She shrugged.

"I just thought…" I paused. I didn't really know how to phrase this. "I guess I just thought after the whole… _thing,_ you wouldn't want them anymore."

She stayed focused on the ground. I knew what she thought I was saying – _I thought you'd be smart enough to stay away from them._

I guess, in a way, I was kind of saying that.

"You can say it, Lexi." She spat, her eyes finally meeting mine. "After the time that I was stupid enough to let myself get possessed."

I saw the hurt on her face and tried to backtrack, but she stopped me before I could.

"I mean, obviously I don't do porcelains anymore, and I don't ever get antique ones, either, just in case." She paused, then huffed out of her nose. "I'm a collector, Alexis, not a masochist."

I put a hand on her knee.

"I don't think you're stupid, Kasey."

She looked at the ground, and I noticed then that she was sniffling.

"I just _like_ them, okay? I like holding them and pretending I'm not—Acting like nothing—" She stopped and sucked in a breath. "I like pretending that I'm still a kid sometimes. Because I went and fucked things up before I could grow up on my own terms."

I looked at her, but she didn't look back. My hand tightened on her knee, and I leaned in closer to her.

"Kasey, it wasn't your fault."

She laughed, bitterly, and turned her head to look at me with a teary face.

"Wasn't it, though?"

Silence.

Neither of us said anything, neither of us really _breathed._ The air had changed from silly and fun to dark and depressing, and I was starting to gather why.

"Kasey… you've never really talked to anyone about this, have you?"

More silence.

"Would you like to?"

She shook her head, then started to get up. She plopped onto her bed again and pulled her laptop into her lap, beginning to type. She looked up at me after a minute, but she didn't make eye contact.

"Please just…Just leave me alone for a little bit." She mumbled. "Okay?"

In all honesty, I was a little bit hurt, but I got it. I got not feeling like talking about something so personal, so painful, and so I nodded, got up, and went back to my room.

If she needed to talk about it, I trusted she would. If not to me, then to Keaton, or Mimi, or maybe even Mom.

Hopefully.

Carter and I had planned to make dinner together like an old married couple, and by nine-fifteen we were happy, covered in flour, and eating a sad little sponge cake that had ended up tasting a bit like dish soap. Kasey hadn't come down for dinner, even when I knocked on her door and asked if she was hungry. I didn't think much of it.

"Does she not like me?" Carter asked finally, pushing the cake around on his plate. I thought about it.

"No, I don't think it's that," I said, watching him finally take a bite and grimace. I laughed. "You don't have to eat it if you don't like it."

He spit the piece in his mouth into his napkin and gave me a sheepish smile. He had been in charge of dessert.

"Sorry," He laughed, "I'm not a baked-goods kind of guy. Pillsbury cookies from a package are good enough for me."

I laughed back, then picked up both of our plates and went into the kitchen to dump them in the garbage. As I started the dishes, Carter came over beside me and boosted himself onto the counter (he knew I was particular about how my dishes were washed).

"I really just don't think she likes me, Lex. It's like I'm the plague – whenever I'm around, she hides."

I gave him a look.

"Carter, she _always_ hides when people are here. She sits with us at lunch, doesn't she? Is that not enough?" I went back to scrubbing pasta sauce off a bowl.

I heard him sigh, and when I looked up at him he looked puzzled.

"Yeah, I guess, it's just… I don't know, it just… rubs me the wrong way." He shook his head as if to get the thoughts out. "It's whatever, though. You're why I'm here."

He leaned down with a smile, giving me a small kiss on the lips.

"Not everyone has to like you, your highness," I joked, giving him another peck. He leaned back, pulling an aghast hand to his chest like an old southern woman ready to faint.

"Well, I never!" He drawled. I laughed, and without thinking I shoved some dish-soap bubbles onto his face. He blinked once, then reached over and scooped up some foam and plopped it onto my head.

And then is was an all-out war, with lots of shrieking and bubbles everywhere. My hair, my clothes, his sock, the window…

_Everywhere._

"Carter, stop!" I shouted, laughing hard as I dodged a handful of suds soaring past my face.

"Well, bless my soul, Alexis Ann, I just don't think I want to!" He was still lathering on the southern accent, which was hilarious to us but probably horribly annoying to anyone else.

"You'd better!"

We were both cackling, tossing bubbles and ducking under counters, when, suddenly, Carter stopped.

"Uhm," He sputtered, not to me but to the living room, accent forgotten. I followed his eyes, confused.

Oh.

"Oh, hey, Kasey," I said, out of breath. "Did you want some dinner?"

She looked from me to Carter, then back to me.

"Uhm…" She stuttered, fiddling with her hands. "Uh, yeah, that'd be great."

She looked nervous, but I didn't ask why. Instead, Carter cleaned up the wet mess that was the kitchen while I reheated her a bowl of pasta, and no one said anything.

"We're gonna go up to my room, okay?" I asked finally. The air was getting awkward – no one had spoken, only a thank you as I sat the bowl down in front of Kasey. She nodded, eyes on her bowl, and I took Carter's hand and led him upstairs.

"See what I mean?" He finally asked, sitting on my bed as I closed the door. I sighed. Yeah, I did see what he meant – but I wasn't sure if it was him that made her act like that. Sure, she was fun and bubbly at school, but when we got home…

"I think it's me."

Carter gave me a look, and I moved to sit next to him. His arm was around me instantly, and I started again. "I do, she's been acting, like, _weird_. Especially today."

"You don't think…" He didn't need to finish. I shook my head.

"No, it's not like that. She's just been…. Distant. Quiet." I thought a moment. "Sad."

Carter was quiet, and I was too.

"Do you think she might be depressed?" He broke the silence softly, but the words hung like a weight in the air.

Yeah. Honestly, yeah, I did. When we talked a few months ago, she'd told me that she'd basically tried to kill herself when Aralt was still around. But that was then, could she still be feeling like that?

"She said she wasn't going to try and…do anything." I managed, avoiding looking at Carter's exposed arms. I looked at his eyes instead, and they weren't hurting – they were soft and understanding.

Helpful.

"You don't have to be suicidal to be depressed, Lex. You know that."

He brushed some hair from my face, and I leaned into him with a sigh.

"I know." I finally said, "I just… I wish she'd talk to me. I wish I could help."

"I know." He nuzzled my head. "You're always like that. It's one of the reasons I love you so much."

Carter hadn't _meant_ to spend the night. He really, honestly hadn't. One minute we were watching _Death Bed: The Bed That Eats,_ and the next we were waking up with the laptop dead on our laps and the neon numbers reading "2:31" on the bedside table.

"Crap," I hissed, sitting up and blowing hair out of my eyes. I wasn't supposed to have anyone stay overnight when Mom and Dad weren't home. Not like I'm a goody-goody or anything, but it seemed like after everything they deserved a bit of rule-following. I leaned over to nudge Carter awake, but his eyes were already blearily opened.

"Whassat?" He slurred, unfocused eyes looking around the room.

"What's what?" I asked, throwing off the covers and sitting up, "You have to go home, it's almost, like, three in the morning."

He sat up a little, but he didn't respond. Not to me, at least.

"Kasey?" He asked, and I turned my head so fast I could have given myself whiplash.

The door creaked open then, after being acknowledged, and Kasey stepped in.

She was still dressed from the day before, and her hair was in an extremely messy bun on the top of her head. She was fiddling with her shirt, but looking right at me.

"Hi." She said, eyes wide. I could practically _hear_ her texting mom and telling her that Carter had spent the night.

"Please don't tell mom." I immediately insisted. Her face looked startled for a second, then confused.

"What? I don't care about that."

Silence.

I looked at Carter. He looked at me. We both looked at Kasey, who was looking between us.

More silence.

"So…." Carter started, and I finished.

"What's up, then? Are you sick?"

She shook her head, still standing right inside the doorway.

She seemed frozen for a few minutes, and eventually I waved my hand in front of her line of vision.

"Earth to Kasey," I chimed, "Is there a particular reason you're in my room at… two-thirty-six AM? Or is it just for kicks and giggles?"

She bit her lip.

"Uhm… you know what you said earlier?" She finally asked. I paused.

"Uhh…That you're lucky you have the best big sister ever?"

She looked at me seriously and I dropped my smile.

"I think I'm…I… I wanna talk."

Oh.

_Oh._

"Yeah, yeah, of course," I said a little too quickly, sitting all the way up and turning on the lamp on my bedside table. Carter looked at me and gestured towards the door with his head as he started to get up. Kasey noticed and fiddled with her shirt more.

"You can stay. If you want, I mean."

He sat back.

I scooted closer to him and patted the newly vacated space to my right. Slowly, she came forward and sat down tentatively on the edge of the bed.

I think we were all holding our breath.

"So I think, the way it started, is just that I was really sad."

Carter reached down and took my hand. I nodded, and Kasey continued.

"I was sad, and lonely, and confused, and my only friend was being nasty to me. And then, on like a Tuesday, I was crying because I couldn't figure out my math and someone said my name. At first I was confused, because I didn't think anyone was awake. But when I went back to my homework, I heard it again, louder, and it was a voice I hadn't heard before."

She didn't have to say who it was.

"I was just so _lonely,_ Lexi, and she was _there._ She was so nice at first, y'know? She talked to me about how she was lonely, too, and she had been made fun of, too, and how her best friend had been a jerk, too. Everything matched up, except… She was better. And she was trying to help me get better, too."

That made sense to me. Getting better is a big motivator when it comes to making promises to malevolent spirits. She went on.

"She told me about how when she turned ten, she got this beautiful doll, and she told me that she liked my dolls a lot, too. So at first she was just my friend, and she helped me with little stuff. You know, like, she was really good at math and I wasn't, and she knew how to spell, and she helped me calm down when I was upset, and we played dolls together. She was… A really good best friend at first."

Kasey looked a little uncomfortable talking about it, and I was almost ready to remind her that if she wanted to stop, she could. But honestly, I was interested in where this was going.

Even if I already knew.

"So that was, like, the year before eighth grade, almost the whole year. She was just so good to me, and nice to me, and she never asked me to do anything bad. Not until, uhm… not until I turned thirteen."

She stopped, and I noticed her going a little teary, a little trembly. Carter hadn't said anything, but he gave my hand a squeeze, just in case I needed support. I waited to see if she would continue, but she didn't.

"What happened then?" I prompted, and the way she hunched over made me wish I hadn't said anything.

I reminded myself that she needed to get it out; she needed to talk about it. If she didn't, she wouldn't have come to me – and she was strong enough to keep going.

I let her breathe a moment, and then she straightened back up.

"Well, uhm, on my thirteenth birthday, you know how it was a Monday, and how Mommy was working and then the toilet in the downstairs bathroom broke so Dad was fixing that, and you had homework?"

She looked at me through a puffy face, and I nodded. She looked back down.

"I was really sad, and I was in my room, and then _she_ came in. She was glowing, because it was really dark, and it startled me 'cause I hadn't seen her in the dark before. And she asked me why I was sad, and I said because I was lonely, and she said I didn't have to be." She paused and took a big breath in, then let it out. "And I said, 'what?', and she said that she had a birthday present for me. At first I didn't know what it was, because I didn't think she could give me anything because, honestly, I doubted she was real.

"But then she started telling me about how, for three years, she was tormented by people at school. And like, I knew she was, but I didn't know for how long, and she told me that it ended up killing her."

Kasey looked ready to break. No doubt was this painful for her – not only was she talking about her demonic possession, but she was talking about a friend – a friend who died, and deceived her. But she didn't stop.

"She said, 'you know, before I died, I never got to kiss any boys, because momma wouldn't let me until I was sixteen and I only just made it to thirteen'. And I shrugged and said I didn't think we were missing much, 'cause boys are gross." She turned then, to Carter. "No offense."

He gave a light chuckle that was only a little out of place in the somber atmosphere. "None taken."

Kasey looked back at her hands.

"But then, she, uhm, she said that _she_ wasn't gross, and she made me look her in the eyes – and you _know_ how much I like green eyes – and then she kissed me, like, on the lips and everything."

Now _this_ was something I didn't know. And, to be completely honest, it made me even more angry. Because not only had this spirit deceived my sister, and made her ruin her own reputation and almost kill everyone she loved, but she took her first kiss. And that's, like, middle school virginity. I know it didn't really mean anything, but I could see in Kasey's eyes that it meant something to _her._ And that's what mattered.

If Sarah wasn't already dead – no, if she wasn't already sent out of this world, because I'd find a way even if she was just a ghost – I would be ready to punch her lights out.

Kasey looked at me, abruptly, and her face had moved from reminiscence and hurt to fear.

"And then I…I don't remember. That's how she did it, that's how she took me. Because then I was in my room, and I had that doll in my lap and a few splinters from the attic ladder in my socks, and I didn't know how I got there."

She sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve.

"I...I kind of remember bits and pieces of the next few months. I remember when Mimi broke her arm, and I remember you telling me that story, and I remember finding the reports in my backpack, and I remember seeing you and Carter –"

She blushed, big, and looked at him.

"I am _so_ sorry, by the way."

He shook his head.

"Don't worry about it. You were possessed, that's not your fault."

She looked at her hands and made a face.

"Uhm. No, I wasn't right then, actually. She just… She made me think that nobody liked me, that - that Lexi didn't want me anymore, and when I saw you two, she whispered in my ear that she was the only one who cared about me, and I got upset. So, yeah. All that mean stuff was … all me."

No one said anything for a minute.

"It's okay." Carter finally broke in. "Really. I get not feeling like yourself. I get feeling alone."

She looked at him and gave a watery smile before looking away again.

"And then I remember waking up one night and I was in Lexi's floor and my face hurt, bad, and I started crying, and I thought she'd hit me and Mom came in and I told her, and then I was gone again until the next morning." Pause. Glance at me. "Sorry about that, too.

"After that it's even more blurry. I don't.. r _eally_ remember anything until I was waking up in the house and there was smoke everywhere and I had – I had _hurt_ them, and you told us to leave and we did, and then after we were all outside and you came out, and I started throwing up."

I remembered all of that much, _much too clearly._

I fell.

I remembered the fall, and it hurt, a blinding, sharp pain all over my body, but the sense of peace was almost overwhelming. My eyes shot back and forth (I assume I was likely going into shock), finally landing on the group at the base of the oak tree.

Megan and Carter were coming as fast as they could to my side, both weak and supporting their limping selves with each other's shoulders, and they were yelling. I couldn't hear them, though – no matter how flustered, terrified, and loud their words were, they fell on deaf ears – because my eyes were on my sister.

Kasey was standing at the base of the tree, but her eyes were glossy and her skin gray – she was breathing heavier than anyone should, and it looked like she was shaking. The thought of her trying to kill me just minutes earlier was gone, and my mind went straight into my Big Sister duties. I needed to get to her, to help her.

Megan and Carter got to me then, Megan crying and Carter panting, and they managed to drag me back towards where they had been by the tree – out of the line of flames as the firetruck sped up the long driveway.

"Oh my gosh, Alexis," Megan had sobbed into my hair, pulling herself onto the ground and pulling me into her lap. Carter faltered to a stop beside her, his hand immediately going to mine.

"Alexis, what hurts?" He managed, but I could tell he was weak. I shook my head – that's not what mattered. Kasey hadn't joined us.

"Kasey.." I croaked, hoisting myself into a seated position. My collarbones ached and it was hard to breathe, but I didn't care. "Kasey."

She was about five feet to the right of us, within hearing distance, and cocked her head gently towards me when I said her name.

"Lexi, I'm so sorry," She rasped, and now that I was closer, I could see the cascade of tears waterfalling down her ragged, flushed cheeks. She was sweaty, and shaky, and looked terrible – and all I wanted was to go to her. She saw me reach for her, something I must have done subconsciously, and stumbled towards us.

I felt Megan flinch, but I didn't care. I needed to touch Kasey, hold her, know she was going to be okay – because right now, no matter how much I hurt, no matter what I'd been through, she had to be terrified, and she looked about ten seconds from death.

About two feet away from us, Kasey stopped. Her breathing was even louder, and she was crying desperately like a dying animal.

Megan watched her, and Carter squeezed my hand. I painfully looked up at Megan, and she seemed to catch my drift.

"Kasey? What's wrong?" She called.

A loud sob followed, and Kasey's lips quivered horribly.

"I don't know, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I—"

And then Kasey lurched forward, falling harshly onto her knees with a dry heave all while her lips emitted a terrible whine.

I reached out to her. Megan held her breath, and it felt like Carter was about to forget his injuries and move to block Megan and I from the dangers of a possessed little girl.

But then Kasey lurched again, her stomach contracting, and this time she threw up violently onto the grass.

Growing up with Kasey, I hate to say, I've gotten rather accustomed to her puking. She has what the doctor called a "nervous stomach," which means that every time she gets stressed, she ends up throwing up. She manages it better now, but when we were little, she used to be awful – her bed, the hallway, the car, you name it, it's seen Kasey vomit. I'm very used to it, and normally it doesn't even alarm me. It made sense that now, of all times, would be a stressful enough situation to make her gag.

Kasey was _convulsing,_ the kind that you do when you get norovirus from some snotty kid at Walmart and you can't stop heaving for six hours on end. It looked painful, and the way she was crying it sounded painful, too. I wanted to go to her, hold her hair out of her face, but I could barely even move my head. Kasey vomited again.

The first time, it didn't worry me so much. It looked like normal kid vomit, nasty and pungent and something I'd seen about a million times.

But then it changed.

Her cries were louder, more guttural, more _pained,_ her body contorting and contracting in a way that really made this incident even more like _The Exorcist_ than it already was. Her hair was flowing strangely around her, which already weird, and then my eyes caught sight of her hands, trembling and covered in vomit, and my heart stopped.

Kasey wasn't a picky eater when she was little, and so I felt like I'd seen everything that her stomach could possibly reject – one time she had even eaten cotton candy for breakfast and puked Barbie Dreamhouse pink all over the interior of a Disney Land "It's a Small World" cart – but this was entirely different. Gross colored sludge had changed to something thicker, something gooier, something _black –_ It was almost like my baby sister was coughing up tar.

It stuck in her hair and coated her hands, and it was even getting caught in her mouth before it could splatter down to the ground. It was so thick and so dark, it didn't look like anything that should ever come from a person, not even a little bit. But she kept gagging and it kept coming out of her, and she kept sobbing loud, desperate sobs.

None of us could go to her. Megan was pretty much trapped under my bodyweight, and Carter was barely staying conscious from what appeared to be a pretty nasty concussion, and I couldn't do anything except watch. It was terrible.

Of course, now I know what that was – because when Aralt had got to me, _really_ got to me, I had been in almost the same situation. Except for me it was forced by my own hand, which was forced by Kasey, and for Kasey it was either involuntary or caused with some crazy intense will-power.

Beside me on the bed, Kasey made a little noise with her mouth, kind of like a gag. She must've been remembering the sensation of being un-possessed, and I know for a fact that remembering that is nauseating.

"When, uhm, when that was happening, Sarah was…there. She was right beside me." A deep, shuddering breath wracked her body, but she didn't stop. "She was there, but her body was thin and wavering, and she was—she was yelling at me, telling me I didn't care, and that I should fix it, and that I was awful and- and all kinds of awful stuff. She yanked on my hair until her hands weren't solid anymore, and her nails ripped down my back until they couldn't, but I didn't do anything. I made myself throw up until she was gone, even though it hurt so bad and I _hate_ throwing up, cause I didn't know what else to do."

It was quiet, and she was crying. I put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"You're so strong, Kase, even if you messed up a little. And you fixed most of that all on your own."

She shook her head harshly.

"That's the thing, Lexi. I _didn't._ Before you found out…If you _hadn't_ found out… I wouldn't have stopped. I would've thrown everything and everyone away, just for some...manipulative, homicidal, puppy-love girlfriend."

"She was in your head though." Carter broke in. It was the first time he had talked in a while, and I had kind of forgotten he was there. He went on. "And even if she wasn't, she made herself the only thing that was important to you. She forced herself into your heart, and then took control of it. That's not your fault." He reached out with the hand that wasn't holding mine and put it on her other shoulder. She whipped her head around to look at him, startled, with tears running down her cheeks. "And we all act kind of stupid for love. If she had been your sister and I had been you, I think I would've done the same thing."

Kasey smiled, just a little. "But Lexi wouldn't do anything like that. Lexi's _good."_

I almost laughed, but it was obvious she believed that with her whole heart. It was sweet. Carter continued.

"But the sentiment's the same. You opened your heart, and she took advantage of that. And when you realized that there was something wrong with what she was doing, you worked your butt off to stop it. You made yourself puke in front of two almost strangers and a yard full of firemen, all with her still tormenting you." He thought a moment. "I don't think I would've had the resolve to do that, especially not with my hair being pulled."

Kasey gave a tiny chuckle.

"Kinky." She announced.

My mouth made a surprised 'o', but Carter took in stride. He narrowed his eyes at Kasey and wiggled his eyebrows, and she couldn't help but to laugh fully. I couldn't either, and soon all three of us were just sitting on the bed, laughing in the dark.

After a while it died down a little, and Kasey sighed.

"Is that what's been bothering you?" I finally asked, tilting my head. She waited a moment, then nodded.

"I think so. Just… All of that, knowing what all I did, just… scares me. Especially after Aralt."

I remembered that conversation, about how she had almost killed herself as a sacrifice for him. How she had thought about trying again.

"Tell her that Aralt's a lil bitch and that he didn't deserve her gay little ass anyways."

My head jerked up to see Lydia, standing at the edge of the bed and crossing her arms. I gave her a pointed look, and she shrugged.

"What? I can't exactly turn my ears off. I was busy filling your shoes with wet grass."

I didn't bother to question it. She's done worse. Instead, I turned to Kasey.

"Lydia says that Aralt didn't deserve you anyways."

Kasey looked at me quizzically, but Lydia just cleared her throat. I sighed.

"And that he's a lil bitch."

"I… I didn't know Lydia was in here," She sputtered, and at first I was scared that she was upset. But instead she started laughing. "But I'm glad she said that."

"She's right." Carter said seriously. "He's the smallest bitch I've ever encountered."

It is important to note here that none of us – not Kasey, Lydia, or even me – had once heard Carter cuss.

Lydia _screamed._

Kasey and I were still in shock, and Carter shrugged.

"What? Just speaking the truth."

Kasey burst into giggles, and I grinned at him.

He seemed to notice that Kasey's face was no longer damp with tears, and he smiled back at me.

"Alexis, tell him to say fuck. Please, as my dying wish, get Carter Blume to say fuck." Lydia begged, her hands clasped in front of her. I gave her a look.

"It can't be your dying wish. You're already dead."

Lydia looked _terribly_ offended, and both Carter and Kasey turned their gaze to me.

"Lydia wants you to say fuck." I sighed to my right.

Carter looked to Kasey, and for just a moment everything was quiet.

"Kasey." He finally said, one hundred percent serious. Kasey looked up. "Would it, by any chance, make you feel a little better if I said the f word?"

She could barely contain her laughter, but she nodded as solemnly as she could. Carter turned to me next.

"And where is Lydia?"

I pointed. Lydia threw a peace sign.

Carter followed my gaze, and nodded his head once before taking huge breath in.

"Fuck."


End file.
